Narcissism & Napoleon

In this week's podcast we examine Narcissism through the lens of Napoleon and other characters in film. We explore, the different ways narcissism can manifest itself (including malignant, grandiose, covert & communal) and some of the psychological mechanisms underlying narcissism. We also discuss how narcissism can distort your psychology and your life path and how you can combat this.

Audio-Essay by Dr. Alex Curmi. Dr. Curmi is a consultant General Adult Psychiatrist who completed his training in the South London and Maudsley NHS foundation trust. In addition to general adult psychiatry he has a special interest in psychotherapy and mindfulness meditation.

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Transcript

Welcome back to the Thinking Mind podcast. My name is Alex. I'm a consultant psychiatrist. Today we're going to be talking about Napoleon narcissism and some of the psychology we can learn from Ridley Scott's new historical epic. 8s One of the things that the new Napoleon film made me think about is narcissism. And I do think, despite its imperfections in this film, we really do have a great portrayal of it. So I thought it would be good to talk about narcissism, different types, and how it can influence the course of our lives. For the purposes of this podcast. I'll be talking about Napoleon as portrayed in the new film, not the historical figure as I'm aware. Some historical inaccuracies have been identified. And of course there are some spoilers for this film. Although, to be fair, this basically happened already a few hundred years ago. Normally, people use narcissism as a pejorative term to refer to someone as grandiose, self-involved, ego driven. And all of that is true, of course, by calling someone narcissistic as a putdown. We missed some important questions. Why do people become like that in the first place? How can this process distort someone's life path, as it clearly does for Napoleon in this film? Before we explain anything else, we need to make a distinction between primary and secondary narcissism. Primary narcissism can be thought of as a developmental stage, and is a normal part of being an infant and a very young child. When we're not really aware of other people or their needs or desires, we're only focused on our own. It's part of our growth we must all go through when we feel that, for all intents and purposes, we are the whole world. The world is a reflection of us. Our parents help us reinforce this with love, care and attention. And if all goes well, this helps us form a foundation of self esteem. Eventually, most people grow out of this primary stage. We become painfully aware that we're not the only person in existence, and certainly not the only person with needs and desires. And then eventually, and probably the most painfully, we become aware that we are no more important than anyone else. Yet if things go wrong somehow, then we either get stuck in this stage or become vulnerable to regressing back to this stage if something triggers us. And this would be called secondary narcissism. Secondary narcissism can manifest itself in many ways. And clinicians have given us a few ways of categorizing how this can present. And these can include grandiose, covert, malignant and communal narcissism. So let's briefly explain what all of these mean. Number one grandiose narcissism. Individuals with this grandiosity tend to exhibit an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a belief in their own unique specialness, talents, or achievements. They may come across as arrogant, entitled, vain, lacking in empathy for others, but not overtly sadistic. Grandiose narcissism tends to be more overt and conspicuous. Grandiose narcissists are really the prototypical examples. A good example of someone with grandiose narcissism is someone like Kanye West. Next we have covered narcissism. This type is really defined by its underlying insecurity and hypersensitivity. People with covert narcissism may appear modest or observed on the surface, but they can become defensive and hostile very quickly when they feel their self-worth is threatened, which is normally when they're criticized. And it's at these points where the grandiosity can really start to come out. Thirdly, we have malignant narcissism. This type really combines traits of narcissism with antisocial behavior, sadism, and a really distinct lack of empathy. Individuals like this can be manipulative, overtly aggressive, and show a real disregard for the feelings and well-being of others. Malignant narcissists are the most dangerous. However, in this case, you can argue that the narcissism is not really the primary problem, but rather the primary problem would be the antisocial personality traits, which normally come with narcissism rather than the other way around. Another way to phrase this is people with antisocial personalities are almost always narcissistic, but most narcissists are probably not antisocial. Rosamund Pike s character Amy, from the movie Gone Girl is a really stunning combination of both covert and malignant narcissism. Covert because she basically masks her true feelings for most of her life, and malignant because she's clearly highly aggressive, totally lacks empathy, and is more than willing to take or destroy other people's lives. And the fourth and final category I'm going to talk about is the communal narcissist. This type involves a focus on being seen as caring, helpful, or morally superior. Individuals with communal narcissism may engage in acts of generosity, but often with the expectation of receiving admiration and recognition in return. A communal narcissist is the kind of person who is likely to, for example, make a big donation to charity in public but would never do so anonymously. For them, kindness and morality are not enacted for the betterment of other people, but as a vehicle to obtain respect and admiration and to improve their status. A good example of a communal narcissist would be Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter, who exerts her will and power on the school when she gets in charge, but does so specifically through the lens and the guise of moral superiority. Now, in reality, as you've probably already started to figure out, these categories are unlikely to exist as discreetly as this. Someone who has narcissistic tendencies may have traits from the different categories, just like the Rosamund Pike act and Gogol, and just like Napoleon does in this film, actually. But as seductive as it is to talk about the different ways that people can behave badly, let's go a little deeper. Why is it that narcissism arises in the first place? As we said earlier, secondary or more pathological narcissism can come about when people have somehow failed to complete and grow out of primary narcissism. But why does this happen? The best way I've seen this described is in Karen Hornby's book Neurosis and Human Growth, one of my favorite psychology books. In this book, Hornby makes the distinction between the real self and the neurotic self. She describes how in some individuals, the development of the real self can be disrupted, usually by a lack of meet needs or due to trauma and early life. Of course, the kinds of experiences that are likely to result in this are the usual suspects different forms of abuse and neglect in early life, and maybe even having a narcissistic or an overly permissive parent. As a result, people then develop a basic anxiety that they are in some sense inadequate or not good enough. And the development of the real self is stunted and neurotic. Processes then develop to compensate for the lack of the reserve. And one really common neurotic process is, of course, narcissism. If our real self is diminished, narcissism in some respects is a useful compensation because it shields us from our imperfections, our flaws, our limitations. It can cause us to behave in ways which gets praise and admiration from other people. It can provide us with a certain kind of superficial confidence, which people often respond to, especially in the short term, or especially if they have their own problems or their own issues with self-worth. So narcissism becomes, in a way, this kind of shield, a vehicle that some people use to get through life, despite the fact that at bottom, someone may feel deeply wounded or injured. The problem is, if you become disconnected from your so-called reserve and you don't develop it, you are not just disconnected from your feelings of imperfection and anxiety, but you're also disconnected from your higher orientations, your true values, your personal morality, your conscience, and your ability to see other people for who they are, not just objects in your universe. Moreover, the confidence that someone with a narcissistic process has is not a solid core confidence, but a fragile confidence that can easily be punctured by criticism. Core confidence includes the ability to quickly and easily admit when you're mistaken and to learn from those mistakes, whereas narcissistic confidence collapses quickly when criticized and usually turns into either narcissistic rage or intense self-loathing. 1s So what you have is a situation where the more disconnected we become from ourselves, the more we become enslaved to the narcissistic process, which is only concerned with chasing superficial reward, acclaim and admiration as a way of numbing feelings of intense self-hatred. And this is how people can fall into the trap of chasing goals that don't reflect their values. And this is exactly what happens to Napoleon. At the beginning of the film, we see a young Napoleon who is hungry for success. One of the key ingredients to being successful in any pursuit is to be ruthlessly reality oriented. Of course, nowhere is this more true than in the case of war, where you need to be firmly held within reality to stand any chance of victory. To be reality oriented usually requires a fair amount of humility, and therefore, even if you might have some narcissistic tendencies, this is being kept in check, at least to some degree. Because to be successful, you regularly have to surrender yourself to the reality of your situation. Reality is the highest priority, not your ego. And at the start, Napoleon, although he may indeed have some dormant narcissistic tendencies, is able to do this. Unfortunately, when people become successful, especially rapidly and enormously successful, this can be very psychologically destabilizing. Napoleon was born into a family of minor Corsican nobility, which was not considered particularly influential, and then rose to power to become the Emperor of France due solely to his political and military abilities. When something like this happens, it's very destabilizing for a number of reasons. The success itself gives you the opportunity to insulate yourself from reality, making a person feel inherently more invincible, less prone to vulnerability, and more like your success is predestined or predetermined. Power itself is known to change our psychology, to make us less empathic, and more likely to think of ourselves as uniquely gifted or special. The accolades, acclaim, and recognition feed and encourage the narcissistic process within the individual and, as we've discussed, encouraged person to continue to chase further acclaim rather than to humbly get better at their craft, in this case, the Art of War. We see early signs of narcissism with Napoleon. In his first interaction with Josephine, he tries to impress her by abruptly talking about his previous military victory. And throughout the film, he's very vulnerable to criticism and perceived slights from Josephine, from the Tsar of Russia, and from others. In intimate moments, we see just how vulnerable he is, particularly in some of the scenes with Josephine, including one memorable scene when she flips the script and makes him submit his will to her, exposing how lost he really is underneath it all. In other scenes, however, you see Napoleon essentially regarding Josephine as merely an object for making children. And yet, as the film develops, you actually get the sense of a real and healthy love that develops between the two of them. And one of the good things about this film is that it depicts the nuances of a relationship, how healthy and unhealthy forms of relating can often coexist. Despite all of this, Napoleon's ego continues to grow across the film until eventually Napoleon's narcissism takes over entirely, almost as though it was a parasite. When this happens, people essentially are unable to distinguish the world around them from themselves. Just like how for an infant in primary narcissism, they are the world. The world is a reflection of them. That is why, for Napoleon towards the end of the film, what is good for him is good for France and vice versa. Unconsciously, or maybe even consciously, Napoleon feels he is France and is unable to distinguish between his ego needs and what is good for his country. In the third act of the film, Napoleon is so consumed by narcissism he thinks he can ignore basic forces of nature, like the weather in his Russian offensive, and when the weather stalls is offensive, exactly as it was predicted to. He calls it misfortune. As a side note, isn't it funny how often people in life have predictable things happen to them and call his misfortune? At the end of the film, just before he is exiled for the second time, he is seen talking to some children and telling them how his defeats were essentially other people's fault. And perhaps that's one of the sadder aspects of the film, other perhaps, than the enormous death toll that, despite everything that happened to him throughout his life, Napoleon fails even to achieve a glimmer of self-awareness. What are some caveats to today's discussion? 1s Firstly, a lot of the psychology of narcissism, which we discussed is obviously heavily theoretical and therefore not easily provable scientifically, particularly in real life scenarios. Nevertheless, if applied with caution, these ideas can be useful in clinical work and in one's personal life to help contextualize someone's behavior, understand them with more depth and compassion, and maybe even help distance yourself from someone when you think it might be necessary. 1s Secondly, it's important to mention again that different categories of narcissism, which we mentioned earlier, are likely to be quite artificial and people will have traits of different categories. Moreover, someone can have mild narcissistic traits without it significantly impacting or disrupting their lives. And of course, when people are motivated and determined, they can develop self-awareness. They can make strides to get narcissistic tendencies under control and develop themselves. And while this is certainly difficult, it's by no means impossible. And lastly, I would encourage people not to casually label anyone in their life giving them trouble as narcissistic. It's actually quite a complex thing to diagnose, and simply labeling someone that way as an excuse to dismiss them is unlikely to be helpful. Even if someone does have these tendencies. It does not exempt you from doing your own introspection in order to figure out how you might be contributing to the situation, or even why you might be engaging with a person like this in the first place. So to conclude, essentially what narcissism does is it hides a person from the true self. The more a narcissistic process develops within an individual, the more it does so at the expense of someone developing themselves. Narcissism, like other kinds of neurotic processes, clouds judgment unconsciously alters how we set our goals and how we pursue them, and of course, dramatically alters how we see other people. That being the case, the best way to combat this is to develop our true self, to discover what we really value, to come to terms with our talents, but also our flaws and limitations. To develop self-compassion and to develop real, loving relationships with people close to us. So we don't need to rely on cheap admiration from strangers and acquaintances. And lastly, I would just emphasize that narcissism is fundamentally a response to deep insecurity. And the person who pays the highest price in the end will often be the narcissist themselves, unless they happen to be the leader of a country. Although narcissists can often appear supremely confident, as we mentioned earlier, a lot of their internal lives are spent oscillating between fragile confidence and intense self-loathing. So bear that in mind when you're dealing with someone who you think might have these tendencies. What do you think? Does this resonate with any of your experiences? What was it like when you tried to take over Europe? If you have any feedback, you can email us at Thinking Mind Podcast at gmail.com. This is the Thinking Mind Podcast, a podcast all about psychiatry, psychology, psychotherapy and related topics. If you like it, there are a few ways you can support it. You can give us a rating, share it with a friend, do follow or subscribe wherever you listen. And if you want to support us further, you can check out the Buy Me a Coffee link in the description. Thank you for listening. 10s Thanks so much for listening this week. If you've got any feedback, as always, do get in touch. If you enjoyed the episode, why not give us a rating on Spotify or Apple Podcasts? Because it really helps other people to find us. If you want to get in touch, you can find us on Instagram or Twitter, or you can drop us an email. And if you value the show more generally, why not buy us a coffee? Thanks so much!